Name Changing

Part and parcel of having married BFL is changing of maiden name to married name.  It's more a culture here than it is in the Far East, ironically enough.  My mother in the 41 years of being married to my dad, had always maintained her maiden name.  It's on her passport, her bank accounts and documents. Apparently that's the norm back home for women not to adopt their husband's name.

Although it gives me great pride to adopt BFL's family name, it is still a felt change.  A change not without some nervousness and reservations attached.  It is not so much an unwillingness to change but the uncertainty of extent of change.   Although it is a change I have openly accepted having married BFL, I can't help but acutely wonder  as to how that change will affect everyone who've once known me in my former maiden name and new friends here who know me in the latter, married name.  Will there be confusion between the two?  Would the change be perceived by the former  group that I had forsaken my former self by changing my name?  As far as I am concern, I am still 'T'.  That would never change.  However, with my life now here, I am known increasingly here as 'G'.  Admittedly, it still needs some getting use to that more and more of my personal documents address me as Mrs BFL than the name I've been accustomed to using all my life.

I am well aware that I would have to eventually make that decision to pick a name that would eventually be shown on all my personal documents.  To do so would mean to choose the name that I am widely known here as - my second Anglocized name that I've hardly ever (so much so that I don't answer to) used back  in my country of origin.  I suppose there was a very good reason why my mother gave me that name after all ... who would have known G would eventually gain prominence?

I would now have to make a mental note to now answer to both.  I am both T and G.  I am glad that when BFL calls me G he says it with an emphasis.  'G'!   It more than arrests my attention. I often come running ... or snap back into the reality.  I suppose he understands how absent minded I sometimes (what day is it today?) am and the tendency to in a world of my own - musing over anything and everything -  from the inane, 'what you mean?! 'dogging' is not the same as 'dog walking?' to the deeply profound 'what is the value of ...?'

*muse*muse*muse*think*think*think*hum*hum*hum*....

So! Now that I have my leave to remain approved for the next 30 months of my life, I would have to step up efforts to integrate into life in this new country of residence.  The first would be to standardized what I am known as here in my personal documents.  And I suppose in answering all those questions I posed earlier about how this name changing business would take effect, the only way to find out is to live each day here as G and occasionally reverting back to being called T with my friends from back home.

I can't help but feel both excited and cautious.  On one hand, it is an exciting journey onwards further into this brand new life in a country I've always dreamed about.  Yet on the other, as it is a journey of discovery there will be many challenges and uncertainties to reckon with. And that creates a sense of nervousness and reservation.

Life, so far has taught me I could do anything if I determinedly set my mind on it.  I did after all, got out of that hell hole.  Then, there's divine intervention which I have honestly believe plays a large extent in where I am today.  Life has indeed panned out bigger and better than I could ever even imagine! You can bet your last dollar I am determine to make the best of what I've been given.  Yet having said that, that doesn't mean I'm not without fears and nerves. So, in God we trust and our best foot forward. :)