The last day of 2012 ...

What a year 2012 had been!  Though not without its fair share of ups and downs, 2012 has been a fantastically remarkable year.

I had finally taken that brave step of venturing into the unknown.  Pursue a dream studying yet another postgraduate course.  Moved countries - though it wasn't apparent to me at that time that meant also a a change of 'country of residences'.  Overcome hostile set backs -where very petty, vengeful persons tried to destroy my reputation a d worth when X can't have what X desired. 

Fell into the routine of being a struggling student determined to excel. Against the greatest odds, met and fell in love with someone who turned out to be my best friend and lover (BFL). 

Learnt to protect self against very toxic hurtful people.  BFL proposed. We found ourselves happily engaged. In the midst of all that burnt many midnight oils writing papers for deadline submission, studied for exams and completed a dissertation. 

Successfully planned a wedding.  Happily married the BFL.   Earned that Merit I've been aiming for as a student.  Travelled Europe (France, Portugal, Venice), Malaysia and Australia ... Struggled through dark bouts of homesickness upon return. Whilst missing my family and friends back home, I had the wonders and happiness of experiencing my first Christmas as a certain Mrs F in my newly adopted country of residence.

I can't help but feel wonderfully blessed and thankful ... that said inspite of the set backs that has occurred.

This brings me to my main point:  How victorous and blessed one feels boils down to one's mindset and the belief and determination to move upwards and onwards.  It has taken me all these years and some very long dark patches in between to realise this ...  but I suppose better late than never!

So here's to 2013.  Though 13 is said to be unlucky, I am determined that those debatable negativities would not follow through. 

Here's to yet another victorious and blessed year.  Where gates of opportunities are  opened; setbacks, hurts restored; And most of all, for the wisdom, strength and determination to seize and live these opportunities to prosperous heights.  Yet, never lose sight of what is important and real in life ...

To building stronger and healthy relationships amongst family and friends, good health, happiness, prosperity and peace to all!  May our lives be always filled with gladness and gratefulness.  Here's to a wonderous 2013!

Going the distance ...

Onwards. Upwards.  That's what this blog is about.  It captures not only minutea of daily excitement and challenges and but also reflective observation of life per se.

My name is G.  I've just turn 36.  I've often maintain I'll always be 28 since taking note on each birthday the accumulation of 'numbers' is rather disconcerting (i.e. What?! I'm how old ..? Nooo! It can't be ...!!).  Often, that rant eventually veers down the route of silent reflection and contemplation. I call it the 'what-have-I-done-with-my-life-so-far...?'

And if you're like me - that is, I am my own harshest critic, a certain melancholy often accompanies this contemplation.  A regret, wishing things were different.  Wishing I had been wiser. Most of all, wishing I had not have wasted so much time on what turned out to be toxic relationship ventures.  A decade was much too long ...

All that said upon the vantage of hindsight. Had I been less harsh, I would argue consolingly that one did the best given the circumstances then. 

I'm now effectively in my late thirties.  I suppose the older one is, one no longer nurses the illusion that one has time to deliberately ignore what needs to be done.  Life is short.  We all have dreams we hope to attain.  

Going this distance has not been without its challenges.  Some tested me to almost breaking point. Yet, I won't discount any of those moments.  Challenging as it had been, it is these hard experiences that are our best teachers.   Had it not also been for family and good friends, I wouldn't be where I am today. 

Essentially, that is what life is about.  Family and friends. And the wisdom to choose options that would make one content-fully happy.

Two and a half years on, I've learnt three main things that hopefully would see me through this journey through life.   Firstly, that there is indeed hope. Provided that one holds on to that believe that it WILL get better no matter how bleak things seemed/s. Secondly, forgiveness.  For only then one can have closure and truly move on.  Finally, to be kind to oneself - especially when we mess up.  As determined as I am now to make each moment count, I am also fully aware of my weaknesses and my fallibilities.

So, even if I goof up.  It is ok to be upset and brood things over. But, as time waits for no man (or woman for that matter!) one must always remember to go the distance. Aiming upwards and onwards...